Saturday, December 29, 2012

If Our Kids Could Talk

Duane and I received two cards this week that were so incredibly special I just had to share. (We suspect they may have had some help from MC's amazing hospice staff, however, when asked, we got denials all around.)

The first was from MC:

This one brought me to tears. Both the quantity and quality of the decisions we have had to make this year have been enormous. I'll never forget the first of our endless "family centered meetings." After that meeting, I drove directly to my firm. A place run by people who had so generously stuck with me as week after week my homecoming from India was delayed. Without so much as a discussion with Duane, I resigned from my job.

The fact is, no discussion was needed. Hearing our worst nightmare confirmed-- that our son had a very serious neurological condition along with a host of other complications meant that for us, there was no choice. We had stopped at nothing to bring these children into the world, and we would stop at nothing to keep them here.
I know, he just keeps looking better every day. 
I'll be honest, it has been an extremely difficult adjustment. I never intended to by a Stay at Home Mom. 

And I most certainly never intended to be a Stay at Hotel Mom (April to August)
or a Stay at Hospital Mom (August to November)

or a Stay at Hospice Mom (November to present).

Indeed, I recall my first month in India watching I Don't Know How She Does It with my in-India bestie and thinking now that's the Mom I'm going to be. I mean really, I'm 30 years old. Give me a Starbucks and a few hours sleep and I can do anything.

But as I sat in that first meeting, I heard only one thing from the neurologist. So much of how your child progresses will be up to YOU. And he could not have been any more right.

The subtle nuances that we have observed from spending every possible moment with our MC have enabled us to make significant, life-saving decisions.

Decisions that cannot simply be posted on Facebook to "all my mommy friends." Can you imagine? Hey mommy friends, any recommendations for getting my child to breathe? Nope, sadly, our decisions do not work like that.

Nevertheless, it's easy to lose confidence that the sacrifices and choices we have made for these two children are, indeed, the "right" ones. I thoroughly appreciated this card... a small reminder of why we've made the ones we have.

We also received this card. A card, which like it's author, made us smile and laugh until our cheeks went sore.

Last weekend, Princess turned 9 months. In those 9 months, she has yet to meet a food, any food, that she has not liked. From her first taste of Indian ragi

to her more recent adventures in exotic eating
Princess officially enters a stage where we cannot take our eyes off of her for one single second. 
this girl has yet to turn down a single offering of anything edible (or inedible for that matter).

And as for that "love?" Let's just say that this Princess has a heart so big, she'll gladly love on anyone who will give her a smile in return.

Convinced it had something to do with spending the first 5 months of her life in the world's second most populated country.
After her second set of vaccinations, I decide that Princess is fair game for all the eager-to-hold coffee shop strangers. 
Her biggest, bestest "loudest" love, however, is always reserved for none other than her beloved brother. Watch below as she expresses it in full volume.

And while he may look unappreciative in the video, you can see by his half smile afterwards that the he loves her in the same way too.


  1. Love this post - the choices you have made have always been the best for your kids because they have been made with unconditional love - and where ever you "stay" one thing rings clear - you are a wonderful mom. Hayden is looking better and better with every picture. Love the picture of Scarlett having a taste of Carlos' food - I am sure she figures that she shares enough of her food that it is high time he gives over a little of his. ;-)

  2. Ahh bless love that picture! MC looks so dapper in his outfit, rosy cheeky cheeks! beautiful post B xx

  3. Love seeing pictures of both your miracles, reading about what they are doing, seeing the incredible wonder Duane and your love has brought into this world. Clearly MC knew his sissy was making noise for him, you can see him react to it.
    Here's to a wonderful new year for you all. May your joy and determination prevail. grma

  4. Tears of joy this time! Awesome! You guys look, and sound, GREAT! Happy New Year, family of four!

  5. Hospital staff and especially those working with babies have amazing hearts and I love that they wrote those cards - it is all absolutely and Duane are amazing parents and the love and strength you continue to show to Hayden and Scarlett goes beyond what medical intervention can do....I am so happy to read about Hayden and his progress. Have a Happy New Year xxxx mel, andrew, sophie, lilly and jack

  6. My gosh, Hayden looks like a little ring bearer in somebody's wedding! Better get him a booking agent pretty soon! Matter of fact, Sissy will also be a popular flower girl in days to come. What a team!

  7. Another inspirational blog B! Those kids bring a smile to my face every time. I reiterate " May your determination prevail!" Ange xo

  8. They both look and sound so wonderful. You truly do inspire me with each and every post. xxxxx

  9. Merry Christmas and happy new year to you, Duane and your little miracles! Hayden is looking do handsome. Unbelievable what a difference a month has made in your little guy. I hope 2013 continues to bring improvement to your little prince. Pediatric nurses are truly amazing, love the letters!

  10. You are a truly amazing mom! I was a NICU mom for 5 months, I know how difficult it is.
    Best of luck and a lot of positive vibes~~~

  11. Those cards are delightful. Your dedication to MC is incredible but no surprise to me as your the most amazing mummy I know.

    Wishing you all a very happy new year xx

  12. They both get more and more beautiful every day. They may not have written those cards themselves, but I wouldn't be surprised if your miracle babies had a hand in dictating them. Every coo and every look clearly says "I love Mommy and Daddy".

  13. Too cute!! MC looks great! Wonderful pictuers!
    All the best!
    Kathrin (Germany)

  14. Ohhh...the pet food! My kids seem to pass up all the toys, boxes, paper and safe household items as they try to make their way to the cat bowl or cat litter. I think Princess and my son must be texting each other about the cool food the cats eat. :-)