... or maybe I am?
For the first time in months, neither Duane nor I had to work the weekend. Before the situation could change, we threw an armload of clothes into an overnight bag, dropped Carlos off at his doggy-vacation home (where he was spoiled to death by his aunt and cousin), and hopped on the New Jersey Turnpike for a quick weekend get-away to Atlantic City, NJ.
Good old Atlantic City.... for those of you who haven't been (and this is by no means a recommendation that you should go), it's exactly like Las Vegas-- minus the glitz, the sunshine, and the young people.
Nevertheless, it's a quick 21/2 hours away with a few really yummy restaurants, a spa, some pretty fantastic outlet shopping, and a poker room to keep Duane occupied while I am enjoying that pretty fantastic outlet shopping. (Happy to report that Christmas shopping is officially 98% done!)
Duane often remarks on what a gambler I am not, and how I can spend significant amounts of time in a city full of casinos without so much as dropping a penny in a slot machine; however, as I sat in our hotel room this weekend (watching Christmasy movies, ordering room service and catching up on all my tabloid gossip--- yes, it was glorious) I began to ponder whether this statement was true.
Over the past four years, I have, time and again, handed over cash, written checks, and most recently, wired funds half away across the world (and I ain't talking pennies) for a less than 50% chance of success.
Moreover, despite the fact that I have lost, time and again, and again, and again, I never hesitate to reach right back into my pocket for just one more chance, swearing that if I don't win the next time, then, I might consider stopping.
I've often conducted my activities in secret, I've enough good luck charms to sink a treasure chest and I surround myself with like-minded people, who wouldn't think twice about selling their home for the mere opportunity to play another round.
I continually up my bets, I'm obsessed with the thought of winning and I've shied away from support groups, for fear that I'd actually have to discuss the reality of my situation.
So you tell me, am I a gambler?
For the first time in months, neither Duane nor I had to work the weekend. Before the situation could change, we threw an armload of clothes into an overnight bag, dropped Carlos off at his doggy-vacation home (where he was spoiled to death by his aunt and cousin), and hopped on the New Jersey Turnpike for a quick weekend get-away to Atlantic City, NJ.
Good old Atlantic City.... for those of you who haven't been (and this is by no means a recommendation that you should go), it's exactly like Las Vegas-- minus the glitz, the sunshine, and the young people.
Nevertheless, it's a quick 21/2 hours away with a few really yummy restaurants, a spa, some pretty fantastic outlet shopping, and a poker room to keep Duane occupied while I am enjoying that pretty fantastic outlet shopping. (Happy to report that Christmas shopping is officially 98% done!)
Duane often remarks on what a gambler I am not, and how I can spend significant amounts of time in a city full of casinos without so much as dropping a penny in a slot machine; however, as I sat in our hotel room this weekend (watching Christmasy movies, ordering room service and catching up on all my tabloid gossip--- yes, it was glorious) I began to ponder whether this statement was true.
Over the past four years, I have, time and again, handed over cash, written checks, and most recently, wired funds half away across the world (and I ain't talking pennies) for a less than 50% chance of success.
Moreover, despite the fact that I have lost, time and again, and again, and again, I never hesitate to reach right back into my pocket for just one more chance, swearing that if I don't win the next time, then, I might consider stopping.
I've often conducted my activities in secret, I've enough good luck charms to sink a treasure chest and I surround myself with like-minded people, who wouldn't think twice about selling their home for the mere opportunity to play another round.
I continually up my bets, I'm obsessed with the thought of winning and I've shied away from support groups, for fear that I'd actually have to discuss the reality of my situation.
So you tell me, am I a gambler?
OMG - i an an enabler!
ReplyDeleteI have never thought of it that way..a very smart perspective and a great analogy!! I guess,I am a gambler too(not in the casino business)...but I do love Las Vegas,for the shows : )
ReplyDeletekathy
You roll the dice each time - positive / negative it's a gamble (I think) but odds improve each time.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your weekend.
Avey
Good ole AC, Love it as well...we are about 1 1/2 hrs from there...since we are jersey residents I have to say NO you are not a gambler...u like the rush, the feel...oops that may be me, hehe...
ReplyDeleteGlad you had fun girl!
no you are not. or are you???? lol
ReplyDeleteI have *always* seen IF/RPL treatments this way. It's one of the main reasons I'm okay with doing reproductive immunology--all the studies I've seen show 65% or greater success rates. In fact, the protocol I'm currently following has around an 85% success rate.
ReplyDeleteBut at the same time, the deeper I get into this thing, the more I am willing to gamble with lower odds. If I really wanted high odds of becoming a parent, I would have switched to the adoption route, by now. Instead, it's not even my next choice and if this immunology stuff doesn't bring results, I'll be inclined to try IVF or surrogacy before moving on to adoption.
Anyway, that's just my two cents.
I vote YES - you're a gambler. And I think you're about to win the big payoff. But I also think that wanting a child is such a biological instinct, that it's hard to feel rational when faced with it.
ReplyDeleteSo nice to think of a spontaneous weekend away! I'm jealous!
I have always said that ivf/surrogacy is just a big crapshoot! You just never know how it's going to end up, but you can't help yourself. There is no rhyme or reason to it... You have to play the game...you can't help yourself; it's the pull of parenthood...it is so worth the risk and every penny put into it...Enjoy your gambling weekend!!
ReplyDeleteYou only gamble on the big things in life, that are worth the gamble!
ReplyDeleteAHHH you guys were in AC!!!! steve and i went and stayed @ harrahs. we have pics right where you do :)
ReplyDeletewe went a few weekends ago!!
we love it. the old people in bedzzled track suits, the fanny packs and lights...the shopping and good eats...ahhh! we seriously could live there!!
you look beautiful as always.
and i'm not one for gambling either. just the penny slots :)
i get excited if i win ten bucks!!
glad you had fun!! <3
xoxoxo
maria
Wow, what an amazing analagy. I'd never thought of it that way, yet it rings so true. Most of the time I feel that I'd gamble almost anything to get a little one of my own. Addicted, sure!
ReplyDeleteI've given you an award. Please come pick it up at my blog: http://rowan6.blogspot.com/2011/12/thank-you-for-award-part-2.html
All I can hear is that Kenny Rogers song....
ReplyDelete