It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

.... depending on who you are.

It's official. A week prior to Thanksgiving and right before our eyes the WHOLE WORLD is slowly transforming into a giant winter wonderland. Twinkling trees, mall Santas, daily catalogues screaming toys, toys, toys!

For many, this time of year is indeed, The Most Wonderful Time of Year. Unfortunately, for those who suffer from infertility, these "magical wonderments" can leave one wanting to crawl up under the tree skirt until the morning after the ball drop. (Or at least slightly before. We all know there's nothing the infertile loves more than a giant glass of champers to drown the sorrows away.)

Don't know if it's my age, the changing times, my infertility (um, yeah) or a combination of all three, but roughly four years ago it dawned on me just how "kidcentric" the holidays had become. Which is right about when I suffered my first bout of... HOLINXIETY!!!

In case you're not familiar with the term:

Hol-in-xi-et-y: the feeling one who suffers from infertility gets upon realizing that she is going to endure yet another set of "er" ending months without a child of her own.

As used in a sentence:

I had major Holinxiety when I attended my work Christmas party and all my pregnant coworkers spent the evening counting the number of pieces of sushi they were eating so as not to exceed their weekly mercury limit.

I had major Holinxiety when I waited in line for an hour (to buy toilet paper) while the moms with carts full of toys in front of me complained about how stressful it was having their kids home on break.

I had major Holinxiety when I couldn't find anywhere to park, because the only spots open were labeled "Stork Parking-- for Expectant Moms."

I had major Holinxiety when I received my fifty-third matching-sweater family photo holiday greeting card and discovered that I don't even have a Shutterfly account.

Infertility sucks. Infertility around the holidays can be DOWNRIGHT MISERABLE.

While I'm more than grateful that my own Holinxiety symptoms have diminished this year, my heart aches for all my friends who are still awaiting their good news.

While I know I can't bring them what they really want for Christmas, I've decided that this holiday season, I'm going to do what little I can to help "cure" their Holinxiety. Small, subtle things, that will make them smile versus make them feel like I'm throwing them a giant pity party.

This past weekend, I started by discreetly picking up the tab of good friend who had several glasses of wine to get her through a baby shower we both attended. (I admire her. A baby shower during the holiday season? She is one strong lady.) I could tell that she was grateful, not because I paid the tab but because she felt like I "got" it. Which, of course, I do...

Mommys and daddys, mommys and daddys to be, mommys and daddys in waiting... though we may be at different stages in our journeys, we are all in this together.

 Cheers to hoping we can lend each other support, to make it a Wonderful Time of Year... for all.