Channeling My Inner Orange White and Green

Miss me? For some reason, these past two weeks I have had a severe case of blogger's block! That, combined with TOTAL UTTER EXHAUSTION from the new job has left me drafting half-sentences each night, which by the time I return to finish them are so 48 hours ago! And seeing as life seems to be moving at the speed of light lately, well, nothing but an up to the minute post will do. So here goes:

Our FET has commenced!

Wednesday, I arrived home from work and was greeted with this:

The arrival of... our surrogate contracts!!! (Note the unseasonably bright red leaf lying next to them-- definitely a good omen!)

Yes, I said contract(s)-- once again we are going to optimize our chances by transferring to two surrogates. Funny how last time we announced this we received a WHOLE lot of "you guys are SO coming back with a baseball team." Nobody could understand how in OUR minds, we were still just praying that one would stick. Unfortunately, I think we have officially proved that we have the WORST LUCK EVER when it comes to this baby-making stuff, so yeah, we're going with two surrogates-- again.

So we received our contracts, and all along I had been anticipating that the sign-and-ship experience would be far LESS stressful than the on-location experience. Wrong. Why? Because signing an Indian contract in India is easy. Take the contract out of India, and put it on my American dining room table, and suddenly things seem a WHOLE LOT more complicated. A brief comparison of the two experiences:

On Location (in India):

Our surrogate contract signing/meeting was scheduled for 4 days prior to our egg donor's egg collection. If you recall, I had a really difficult time selecting our surrogates, and ultimately, asked Duane to select one and Dr. S to select the other. So on the day of our arranged contract signing, our cab pulls up to the clinic, and we are told that no, our signing will not take place today because Dr. S. is still contemplating changing one of our surrogates (we didn't have a cell phone so we didn't find out until we got there). Our reaction? Hmmm, what should we eat for dinner? Seriously. Not. concerned. one. bit.

Roughly 24 hours prior to our egg collection, we finally found out the identity of our second surrogate. We traveled to our clinic again and were told that this time the clinic's lawyer was stuck in traffic (imagine that-- traffic? in Delhi?) but could be available by phone if we needed him. Once again, we were totally unfazed. No problem. Who needs a lawyer present when you're signing surrogate contracts?

Sure there were a few wrenches but it was so easy not to worry in India. Amidst all the craziness and chaos of Delhi, there is an inexplicable feeling of peace. We were doing things the Indian way, and because we were in India, it just felt right.

At the Dining Room Table (in America):

Two contracts. We've done it before. Pick up the pen and sign. I can't. I've just arrived home from an incredibly long day of work where the misplacement of a comma could mean tens of thousands of dollars. A very stressful day. With quite a bit of yelling and some seriously tight deadlines. Suddenly I'm dying to whip out my red pen. Why does one of our surrogates only have one name? And why has one of our surrogate's husband's not signed yet? And why, do all the phrases that made me giggle the first time around (i.e. "we are on the look out for a surrogate") now leave me wanting to rewrite the whole darn thing? Not to mention the fact that it is 48 hours prior to our FET and from my calculations, physically impossible to have theses contracts signed, sealed and delivered before it takes place. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Deep breaths please!

I attempt to channel my inner Orange White and Green. And it's hard. Really hard. Why? Because I'm sitting at my dining room table in America! And America is NOT India. America is stress. And my job in the legal profession is stress. And placing those Indian contracts smack in the middle of my American life? Well, now those contracts equal stress as well.

For the record, there are certain villages in India where the wife goes by her husband's first name (i.e. the surrogate will not have a surname), DHL will get a package from Maryland to India in 72 hours, and our wonderful clinic is equally adept at providing assurances via email as it is in person.

Nevertheless, it just wasn't the same...

I've said it a million times since we've been home. I miss India. I miss the people, I miss the temples, and more than anything, I miss how I felt when I was there. I truly hope I get to experience it again.



I truly hope we'll have a reason to return!